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Demi Lovato Claims She Got Tired of Using “They/Them” Pronouns

Demi Lovato has recently opened up about her decision to stop using “they/them” pronouns, citing exhaustion from constantly educating others on the topic. In an interview with GQ Spain, the singer expressed frustration with having to explain her choice of non-binary pronouns, ultimately leading her to revert back to using “she/her” pronouns.


Lovato’s pronoun journey was publicly announced in August 2022 when she updated her Instagram page to reflect the change. She further discussed her decision on the Spout podcast, explaining that her choice was influenced by internal factors, such as feeling more in touch with her feminine side.

Feeling a sense of balance between masculine and feminine energies, Lovato described her experience of not identifying strictly as a woman or a man. She stated, “I just felt human. That’s what they/them is for me. It’s just about, like, feeling human at your core.” However, her constant need to educate others and justify her pronoun choice became exhausting.

While Lovato’s decision to return to “she/her” pronouns may suggest that society still has progress to make in accepting non-binary and gender-fluid individuals, it is important to note that her identity can still be non-binary, even with the use of these pronouns. Lovato acknowledged that she sees herself as existing beyond the male and female binary, highlighting the need for more options and inclusivity in society.

The discourse surrounding pronouns has become increasingly important in recent years, with individuals advocating for the use of preferred pronouns as a way to respect and affirm gender identities. However, as Lovato’s experience demonstrates, the burden of education often falls on those who identify outside the gender binary, adding to the emotional labor they already endure.

Lovato’s decision to step back from using “they/them” pronouns serves as a reminder that pronoun choices can be fluid and subject to personal growth and self-discovery. It also emphasizes the importance of creating an environment where individuals feel comfortable expressing their true selves without constant explanation or scrutiny.

As society continues to evolve, it is crucial to prioritize education and awareness about gender identities and pronouns, ensuring that everyone feels seen, respected, and included. Lovato’s journey is a testament to the ongoing struggles faced by non-binary and gender-fluid individuals, highlighting the need for empathy, understanding, and progress in achieving true acceptance for all.

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